I recently had the opportunity to work with someone putting together a Spanish lesson, which I haven’t done in over a decade, and it was so much fun I decided that in 2019, I wanted to create Tobi’s Down and Dirty Guide to the Spanish Language. You know, everything you should know without the excessive vocab you’ll never use or the grammar you’ll never remember. I’m hoping to upload a new lesson every week so I hope you’ll listen along and learn some fun phrases… like, I want to fork the matador. You know, useful stuff 😉

This is the introductory lesson, and my goal is to figure out how to upload this to every media outlet possible with the least amount of work on my part. It goes without saying, that although it’s free on my website, please link people to my website and don’t copy and share. My work, as always, is copyrighted.

Transcript below:

By Tobi Doyle

Want to learn Spanish, but you’re not interested in whether Tato or Lola are at the library? Join Tobi with her actual Spanish Language Learning lessons and learn vocabulary and grammar in a slightly ridiculous and mostly inappropriate way. Face it, Tato and Lola can hang at the library, but wouldn’t you rather have your new Spanish-speaking friends hold your beer while you show them something?

Lesson One – Introductions

Hola, me llamo Tobi. Prepara a aprender español, perras.

Hi, I’m Tobi. Prepare to learn Spanish, bitches.

Not gonna lie, but one of my favorite expressions in Spanish is Me encanta. Literal translation is you enchant me, but really it’s more of a ‘nice to meet you’ thing. Still, me encanta… Makes me want to pull out my Sofia Vergara accent and climb Joe Manganiello. Although, climbing Joe probably has nothing to do with speaking Spanish. I mean, who doesn’t want to climb Joe?

But, fantasies of Joe aside, let’s learn how to introduce yourself, greet others, and say goodbye in today’s podcast.

Okay, so let’s assume you’re in a Spanish speaking country and you want to introduce yourself to a hottie.

Repeat after me…

Hola – Hi

Me llamo – I’m

Tobi – Your name here

All together – Hola, me llamo Tobi.

Don’t worry about literal translations or reflexive verbs, just repeat, “Hola, me llamo Tobi.”

This is good – but now the hottie introduces themself to you, and you need to respond.

Me encanta….

No me encanta…

Or

Encantada de conocerte — That’s a slightly more formal way of saying, “It’s nice to meet you.”

A lot of people just shorten that to, “Encantada.”

Another more common way to say it’s nice to meet you is, “Mucho gusto.”

So, if you’re not sure where this relationship is going to go, just stick with, “mucho gusto.” Alright, more importantly, we gotta move this relationship forward.

Want to dance? ¿Quieres bailar?

Do you want to dance with me? If you’re one of those people that is slightly insecure. Quieres bailar conmigo?

How about, can I buy you a drink? ¿Te invito una copa? Or…

Would you like a beer? ¿Te gusta una cerveza?

And the all important,   yes or no.

Si is yes.

No is no, in any language.

And finally, how to say goodbye…

Mi über is here, I have to go. Mi uber está aqui, necessito a salir.

Thanks for the dance, I hope to see you again. Gracias por el baile. Hasta la vista.

My number is…. Call me.  Mi numero es…. Llámame.

What’s your number? ¿Cual es tu numero?

Or…

Add me on Snapchat. Añádame en Snapchat.

So, add me is añádame.

And on Snapchat is going to be, en Snapchat.

Or, of course you can do instagram, or twitter, or whatever it is you kids do these days. Thank God I’ve been married for so long.

Okay, let’s say you meet the guy or girl and they’re a troll. How do you politely excuse yourself?

Lo siento, mi esposo está aquí. I’m sorry, my husband is here.

I’m sorry. Lo siento.

My husband is here. Mi esposo está aquí.

Or… My girlfriend is here. Mi novia está aquí.

Spanish has genders. So, the nouns are either female or male. Lots of languages do this. If it’s a male word it ends in “o” if it’s a female word it ends in “a”, for the most part.

So, you would say esposo for husband, esposa for wife. Novio for boyfriend, novia for girlfriend. That’s pretty simple, right?

The easiest way to say goodbye is, adios. Everybody knows that, right? Adios. Goodbye. So, there’s this thing about Spanish people don’t want to say goodbye because it means like, goodbye, like I’m never going to see you again. That’s not really true. I mean, because the world has changed and there’s a mixing of cultures, so it’s not quite the same. So you can always say adios, especially if you’re clearly a non-native speaker. There’s other ways to say goodbye. The famous Terminator line, Hasta la vista, means I’ll see you again. You can say, hasta pronto, I’ll see you soon.

But if you’re at a  club or something, I’m not sure you’re going to be saying, I’ll see you soon or whatever. It’s probably going to be like, add me on Snapchat, or it was nice meeting you. So again, you can go back to, “Encantada a concerte.”

But chances are they’re going to know you’re not a native speaker of Spanish, so just go with, adios.

Right? Okay! We’re keeping it simple because this is in fact, Tobi’s Down and Dirty Guide.

And now, it’s test time. I’m going to say the word in English. You’re going to say it in Spanish. We’re going to pretend like I can hear you.

Hello……..Hopefully you said, hola.

My name is, or I’m….   Me llamo.

Nice to meet you. That could have been, mucho gusto, or encantada, or encantada a concerte (if you’re like a total a+ student), or it could have been, me encanta. But again, remember, me encanta, is a little bit more… hello, there.  Think of Joey from Friends.

Next… Want to dance?  That should have been, ¿Quieres bailar?”

How about, I need to leave. (I gotta go.) Necesito a salir.

My uber is here. Mi über está aquí.

Or, My boyfriend is here. Mi novio está aquí.

Or, My wife is here. Mi esposa está aquí.

So, we’re getting that está aquí = is here.

Add me on snapchat. Añádame en Snapchat.

And finally…

Hello, my name is Indigo Montoya. Prepare to die.

I really hope you enjoyed this quick lesson of introductions in Spanish. I’m hoping to put these suckers out every Friday, so definitely follow me. You can hit me up on Twitter @tobidoyle, or at my website tobidoyle.com, or on facebook Tobi Doyle, Author. I’ll be posting these on all three and probably on instagram.

And if you like snarky, sexy contemporary romance, check out some of my books on amazon.com.